I grew up in a typical family that doesn’t believe in mental health. I’ve always admired movies from the western culture which they would hug each other and give affirmation of their love, no matter what situation they got themselves into. I asked my mom once before, why we never do things like this? And she brushed me off with, “People angmo mah…” which got me wondered why can’t we do the same? Here’s the thing about my family, my parents are the infamously known “tiger parents”. We were taught to get good grades, be strong and get over with whatever that hits us. Basically, to not be a snowflake because “they had it so much worse and I should be grateful for what I have.” Does this phrase sound familiar to maybe some of you? Hehe

 

Due to my upbringing, I became someone who have massive problem in trying to express my emotion. I don’t know how to reach out for help, I don’t even know there is a need for me reach out because all of life I have been told to shut down my negative feelings and “get over” it. Suppressing my feelings has become a norm in my life and I never questioned it. Thinking about it now made me realise how unhealthy I was, geez! Anyway, things started to fall downhill when I was studying in Australia. It was my first time away from home and things started to get out of hand. I had a hard time trying to adapt to a new lifestyle and maintaining my grades. Worst of all, my break-up with my 4 years boyfriend came at the worst time. I secretly blamed my parents for sending me to Australia. Believe me, there was a point when I just wanted to end my life because I felt like a disappointment to my family. I just couldn’t cope anymore. My mental state left me feeling broken, weak and worthless.

 

Thank God I discovered therapy. That was my turning point. Therapy is very common in Australia, almost everyone I know of go for therapy and some of them even view therapy as a chilling chit chat session. During my first few sessions of my therapy, I was a mess. It was hard. Fighting my inner demons and talking about my past was emotionally draining. I’d say it was like opening up a can of worms that I had shut for years and trying to find them new homes. The process of finding them new homes was tough but once they found their home, I was set free! In a way, I was grateful for my mental breakdown because if it wasn’t for it, I would never discover how great therapy can be! Which is also why I titled “Blessing in Disguise.” How I wished I had discovered therapy earlier. How I wished someone have told me that it is okay to express my emotion. How I wished someone have assured me that it is natural to be sad and not be able to get over things.

 

It is upsetting to see the stigma surrounding mental health or talking about your struggles because “you’re weak” or “crazy” is still prevalent in our society. Nobody ever told me this when I needed to hear so here’s for you: I want you to know that it is very human to break down every once in a while, and talking to someone about your struggle in life is nothing to be ashamed of. You absolutely DON’T HAVE TO, I REPEAT, DON’T HAVE TO, suppress your emotion. Therapy is hard, so the only way to describe you for going to therapy, for seeing help is BRAVE and STRONG! You should embrace it. So please, put your mental and physical health first. Go talk to someone, go for therapy and work on getting to a better place. I promise, you will be alright. Rooting for you! ????